Farewell Cristina: Female Friendship and Non-Traditional Soul Mates on "Grey's Anatomy"

I have to admit that I’ve been stressed lately. May Sweeps always makes me anxious and this year is no different. As I wait to learn the fates of my favorite shows, characters, and relationships, this year a particular story’s end is on my mind: Meredith and Cristina, whose relationship is practically synonymous with Grey’s Anatomy.

I have long had an off-on relationship with Grey’s Anatomy, but the last two seasons Grey’s and I have been decidedly “on” so it is with much trepidation that I approach the end of Sandra Oh’s ten-year run as Cristina Yang tonight. One of my favorite parts of the show has always been the relationship between Cristina and Meredith, a beautiful representation of the complex nature of female friendship and something I like to call “non-traditional soul mates.”

For ten years Cristina Yang and Meredith Grey have been the definition of female friendship in pop culture. Their relationship is complex, layered, and emotional. Cristina is not the stock BFF character nor is Meredith the stock strong female protagonist. Each is endlessly complicated and neither falls prey to stereotypical writing thanks to the lovely and talented Shonda Rhimes. It’s refreshing to see when meaningful relationships between women are so often left out of the storytelling on popular shows, even shows with female protagonists. Haven’t you ever wondered why Olivia Pope doesn’t have any ladies to have a wine night with? What ever happened to Dr. Mindy Lahiri’s girlfriends? And just whom does Black Canary complain to about Oliver Queen’s behavior? Other shows suffer by providing female friendships but never fully exploring them like, often times, the relationship between Robin and Lily on How I Met Your Mother or between Mary and her ladies on Reign. These relationships are often put on the back burner to tell stories about love interests and scandals. As a woman, I always find this odd as the most important and significant relationships I have had have typically been with my female friends. I am just as interested in seeing representations of similar relationships on TV as I am in seeing any other kind of love story or friendship. Meredith and Cristina have not fallen prey to these traps. Their relationship with each other is just as important to them and the show as any other relationship they have had. This season particularly reinforced that idea with a long arc about a falling out between the two and it's consequences.

But Meredith and Cristina are more than just friends. They’re each other’s person. Chances are if you’re at all familiar with the lore of Grey’s Anatomy and, perhaps even if you aren’t, you know the importance of being someone’s person. Cristina first uses the phrase “You’re my person” in episode 1 of season 2. To Cristina and Meredith, your person is the person you can always count on, the one who will always be there for you. That is what they are to each other and they have proved it time and time again throughout the series. The phrase has taken on a life of it’s own, a way for a friend to tell another friend just how much they mean to each other and is often emblazoned on mugs, t-shirts, and other merchandise. It also means that sometimes the person you can’t live without isn’t your significant other; it’s your best friend. It’s what I referred to when I mentioned earlier the phrase “non-traditional soul mates” and it’s what I believe Cristina and Meredith are to each other. The idea is one that was first widely popularized by Sex and the City when Carrie Bradshaw mused that maybe our friends are our soul mates, after all. Meredith and Cristina have always seemed like the perfect example.

Given all that Meredith and Cristina represent, it is no surprise that many are saddened to see Cristina go. Meredith and Cristina do, after all, have the longest-lasting, most consistent, and most enduring, meaningful relationship on the show. It has struck a chord with viewers all over, especially between best friends and the on-screen end of such a relationship is already making waves without even airing yet. Tonight’s season finale is likely to be one of the most emotional episodes of Grey’s

Anatomy we’ve ever seen and that’s saying something. So cheers to you Cristina Yang. You’ve left an indelible mark on our hearts and we’ll miss you for everything you are.